Criticism—constructive or otherwise—is ubiquitous in the working environment. From your employer providing feedback at your yearly review to the bully on your blog pointing out all the stuff you're doing incorrectly, it's impossible to ignore and difficult to determine whether to take it too seriously.
Because the reality is that you do not always want to disregard remarks about things you are doing incorrectly or might be doing better, if they unfavorably approach you, genuinely listening to and evaluating the problems (and how to change them) may be a powerful method for you to progress as a professional.
However, how can you tell a valuable comment from an insult that is not worth your energy or time? Begin by carefully evaluating the source.
Positive and negative feedback may be crucial for building and sustaining a thriving economy. Although you may not love hearing customer complaints, they can be an excellent learning experience, whether you know it or not.
Determine if they are critics or haters.
It is a critical distinction to make! Not everyone critical of you is a hater. And you must understand the distinction.
Constructive comments should be viewed as an opportunity for you to develop and expand on the aspects of you and your communication that your followers notice.
It should serve as motivation to continue honing your art. Constructive criticism demonstrates an individual's degree of concern when they leave a comment, review, or message.
Mean girls and mean males exist for a variety of personal reasons. That is their mode of operation. They are just haters due to their upbringing (background, mentality, and life events). You will not alter them, and you will most definitely not win them over. Recognize and proceed.
In a nutshell, constructive criticism is as follows:
Indicates the action or remark made, but it Does not criticize the individual
It is strongly backed up by facts/logic
Allows for the correction of errors and opportunities for growth
Enhances someone, even though it may seem harsh
Requires observation before offering a critique
Contributes to the development of a concept
Attempts to educate
On the other side, Haters will:
Assault the individual, not the argument
React rashly
Emphasize the problems while ignoring the benefits
As a result, unedited, skewed, and insensitive opinions are formed
Dismantle beliefs, proposals, and concepts
Here are four fundamental steps for coping with haters and those who pass judgment on you, your work, and your ambitions.
1. Recognize the Pain.
We are all human beings. We have emotions. We are physiologically programmed to live in groups to ensure our existence. Recognize and name the emotional state you are experiencing (rejection, failure, insecurity). Then acknowledge that the "feeling" is not valid. It is only an emotion. This, too, shall pass.
2. Investigate the Truth.
Would your feelings be hurt if someone approached you and said, "I don't like your blue hair" (although you don't have blue hair)? Most likely not. You are not blue-haired. You may presume their judgment is somewhat "off" (or that they are slightly insane) and proceed. Consider this style of thought the next time someone says or acts as though they dislike you. They despise your fictitious blue hair.
3. Maintain A Safe Distance.
Engage with a hater only as much as necessary. If you are not required to, do not. Having a healthy barrier will assist you in maintaining perspective and limiting their toxicity. Take a seat on the opposite side of the room. Engage with others who provide value to your life and share your ideas. As a result, their opinion will be diminished in importance.
4. Determine Whether This Is Significant.
Your coworker disliking you is a very different situation from your spouse disliking you. Is it essential that this individual likes you if they are on the perimeter of your life and not a member of your inner family circle? You may collaborate and not be great buddies at the same time. Keep your partnerships cordial and respectful, and get the job done. As you learn to transcend feelings, your emotional maturity will develop. Most importantly, you'll discover that it's insignificant.
Closing Thoughts
How can you tell a valuable comment from an insult that is not worth your energy or time? Not everyone critical of you is a hater. Haters are just haters due to their upbringing, mentality, and life events. You will not alter them, and you will most definitely not win them over. When someone says or acts as they dislike you, please take a deep breath and examine whether it's true. Engage with others who provide value to your life and share your ideas.