Specific individuals appear unable to refrain from re-initiating a disagreement, having the final word, or exiting an unpleasant engagement with a loved one in a loud and chaotic manner. Other folks feel numb, are at a loss for words, and become unresponsive during an argument. After the dust settles, I frequently hear individuals declare, "That is just how I am," or "That is just who I am," or "I simply can't seem to help myself." I have my doubts that I will ever be able to change."
When I hear this, the first thing I question is, "Who or what is the 'I' in these statements?" "Who or what is the immutable 'I'?" The response is critical to determining what an individual is willing to undertake to launch a transformation process in their own life.
To effect change, you must first understand who or what you are attempting to alter.
We frequently suffocate ourselves by declaring that we cannot accomplish something before attempting it. These restricting views may cause us to wonder, "Why bother?” or think, "This is ridiculous." By doing so, we tell ourselves "no" before we ever pose the question. When we do so, we halt our progress and obstruct our route to achievement.
This negative self-talk strongly indicates that your story needs to be rewritten. Our narrative impacts what we do, where we travel, and how we live. A compelling tale leads to an opportunity-filled existence — alter your story, alter your life. The first step in rewriting your account is to stop telling yourself.
How many times have you told yourself something similar?
I have to be flawless... I am too old... I am not that type of person.
These are precisely the kinds of self-defeating attitudes that prevent us from reaching our objectives and, eventually, our ambitions. By confronting the following destructive beliefs and treating ourselves with love rather than suspicion, you may shift your mentality and learn how to Improve Yourself.
Improve Your Story, Improve Your Life
Our tales define our identity and govern what we feel we are capable of and are not capable of. The following are some frequent tales you tell yourself that restrict your growth prospects and suggest that it's time to rebuild your story:
"I am required to be flawless."
Perfection is the lowest standard that someone can hold himself to — it leaves no space for improvement. While performing a task flawlessly may seem pleasant at the moment, it is through our failures that we build our most excellent qualities and learn life's most valuable lessons. If you complete a task flawlessly, you have not learned how to perform this activity more effectively, for example, or what to avoid. By convincing yourself that you must be flawless, you impose limitations on your talents. If you want to learn how to transform your life, you must give up on perfection.
Instead of pursuing perfection, strive for a balanced existence. Accept that you will make errors, and when you do, utilize them as a springboard for achieving your next level. Attempting to be flawless is motivated by a fear of failing. Instead of being terrified of failure, pursue your passion regardless of consequences.
"Take use of the chance to learn from your mistakes: identify and eradicate the source of your problem. Not attempt to be flawless; instead, strive to be a good example of a human."
"My life is more difficult than everybody else's."
Everyone is engaged in their conflict. Your response to adversity defines how you will improve your life.
Consider Oprah and Tony Robbins' success tales and the obstacles they overcome to attain greatness. "Identify your issues," Tony advises, "but devote your strength and energy to solutions."
A difficult life does not preclude you from achievement until you convince yourself that it would. There are numerous examples of persons who overcome insurmountable challenges to reach greatness. Just as many cases of those born with all of the world's advantages yet failed to live fulfilled lives. When rewriting your tale, it is necessary to let go of the past.
"If I disregard it, it will vanish."
To understand how to transform oneself, one must first view things as they indeed are. Reality is constantly catching up with us. While we might occasionally pretend that our issues do not exist, they will always be there for us when we return. Only when we choose to confront them whole on do, do they vanish entirely.
"Our objective is not to disregard life's difficulties, but to improve our mental and emotional states to come up with answers and meet them and take action." Take a thorough look at yourself and your current situation in life, and the decisions you've taken to get here. Rather than that, it's an opportunity to take stock and determine what needs to be changed to rewrite your tale.
"I'm either too young or too old."
Do you believe you are too old to learn how to transform your life?
The fact is that your age is only a constraint if you allow it to be. Tony's counsel is to "develop a vision and never let the surroundings, the beliefs of others, or the constraints of what has been done in the past influence your actions." Ignore received knowledge."
When you consider that a healthy person may live up to 120 years, attempting to rewrite your story at 60 suddenly looks exceptionally reasonable. You can do everything you set your mind to at any age - as long as you think it is accurate and try to make it a reality.
"I'm just not a cheerful person."
By saying that you are not "the joyful sort," you create your misery. Happiness is a state that we may achieve through our activities. The route to happiness is more than material possessions and appearances. Rather than that, happiness is a state of being. When you alter your thinking, you get the ability to change your life - when you choose happiness, your negatives become advantages.
Steps to Research and Rewrite Your Story
Consider your habits
Instead of concentrating on what you wish to change, direct your attention to the negative behavior or habits that contributed to your desire to learn how to change. Are your sugar cravings at 10 p.m. what contribute to your obesity? After identifying destructive behaviors, you may develop new ones that can assist you in rewriting your story, such as delayed gratification.
1. Every day, practice
Once you've identified your new healthy habits, commit to doing them every day — regardless of the circumstances. Have an eventuality proposal in place if circumstances interfere with your new routines, and resist the temptation to cut shortcuts.
2. Concentration on self-reflection
One of the practices that contributed to your desire to understand how to transform your life was your avoidance of truth. Throughout your path, you must maintain a realistic self-reflection and, when necessary, seek the advice of individuals you trust. Are you making progress? If not, what else should be altered?
3. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals
When you pass value time with people who care about you, you naturally establish a support system for your new habits and can rewrite your story in a loving atmosphere.
4. Continue taking calculated chances
You cannot remain in your comfort zone if you wish to learn how to transform your life. You must take chances until you develop a sense of comfort with them — and then take more. The more you push yourself, the more quickly you may rewrite your story and improve your life.
"Improve Your Story, Improve Your Life" is a series of short but powerful articles on how to improve your life. Perfection is the lowest standard that someone can hold himself to. If you want to learn how to transform your life, you must give up on perfection. Accept that you will make errors and use them as a springboard for achieving your next level.
Do you believe you are too old to learn how to transform your life? Age is only a constraint if you allow it to be. The route to happiness is more than material possessions and appearances. Rather than that, happiness is a state of being - not an outcome. When you alter your thinking, you get the ability to change your life.
When you choose happiness, your negatives become advantages. The more you push yourself, the more quickly you rewrite your story.